The Family Table Farmstead

If you know us, you know that Joe and I tend to dive head first into things, and our first foster care placement is no different. After nearly two years of classes, paperwork, home studies, a little break for a different adventure, and a little bit more paperwork we found ourselves state licensed foster parents.

Joe and I had decided that we would first accept a placement of 1 or 2 children, as we knew we were not experienced in parenting. We joked that we didn’t want to run a zone defense, and we would rather run a man to man. Well, it was time to lace up!

The evening after our final home visit, we got our first placement call. THREE KIDS. We asked the social worker some questions about the kids, and we said we’d call back with our decision. I think we both saw the excitement in each other’s eyes. Less than five minutes later we called the social worker back with our answer, and we finally were about to begin our journey.

It’s funny thinking back now, and the advice I would have given myself in that moment.

Here I am writing this three months after the kids have left our home and moved in with a family member, feeling like my life now is taking some getting used to our “new normal.” When the kids first left, it was quiet. It was the kind of quiet that it was LOUD, and it made the house feel empty inside.

Rather than giving ourselves a hard line break for a specific amount of time, we had a list of five things we wanted to complete before turning our placement calls back on. We turned our calls back on, and are ready for our next placement.

Being a foster parent is the most difficult thing I have done in my life. I wouldn’t say that fostering and parenting children with trauma alone is the most difficult thing. It is that PLUS other difficult things piled on top of it: court, scheduling visits (family and social workers), appointments, comments from friends, family, and strangers, the unknown of the future, and of course regular life tasks/difficulties.

I don’t know how to measure if we successfully fostered our first placement. It’s all open to one’s interpretation of course. I know we did our best. I know we will foster more children. I know we learned an incredible amount and how to adjust better in future placements. I know that I will never stop thinking about all of the kids in foster care.

Family Table Farmstead 🖤